Medical Comedy Fans Pillows

"It's a very senior moment—he's dead."

Fat And Grouchy

'I'm sorry, Doctor, but you told me to exhale!'

'It's so rare you'll need your own teleton.'

'I've got this feeling, like a heavy weight on my stomach.'

'Don't worry, Mrs. Booth, I've been taking this drug myself for years without serious side effects.'

"I've no idea where they are - maybe they're all ill."

A mistake during an operation.

"That's not my knee, doctor, that's my stomach."

Dr. Miska: Eye, Ear, Nose and Embarrassing Bodily Functions.

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"All my symptoms are old ... "

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"I think it stopped breathing."

'A Caesarian? - But I want my son to be a natural-born citizen!'

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

"The patient in 12-C needs comforting."

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"My first night in the lab and I was clearly the smallest brain in the place."

"It's probably a fracture - we'll do some imaging on it just to be sure."

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'That's not what I meant by 'IV'.'