Medical Sitcom Lover Gifts

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

Jester Surgeon

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

'Quick, do a background search and see if this doctor passed his boards!'

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

'The doctor will be with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

There's Nothing Worse Than A Staff Infection

Wait a minute…What operating system are you using?… Common techie question.

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

'I've got this feeling, like a heavy weight on my stomach.'

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

Give it to me straight, Doc, and don't poopcoat it.

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

'No, no, no. Shout 'clear' BEFORE zapping him.'

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

'And I think you'll find something extra in your dessert, Hon.'

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

Until Bob entered her life, Lisa never even knew the meaning of the phrase 'acute multiple drug-resistant infection by transgenic Staphylococcus aureus.

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

'It's caused by doing too many wrist curls, overindulging in spinach and... Excuse me. Everyone in here - stat - if you want to see an actual case of 'Popeye Syndrome'!'

'Luckily, it doesn't look too serious.'