Enjoys Medical Sitcoms Gifts

"Doctor, I'm fairly certain we've been feeding the wrong end for a week."

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

The Friendship Between Death and the Doctor.

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

'Everything is going to be fine, Mrs.Witzer...'

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'Luckily, it doesn't look too serious.'

"There's a shortage of beds, dear."

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

Medical Center.

"The medic said he died of an ST-segment-elevated myocardial infarction -- Jack was always a showoff."

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

No, you don't need to be "gluten-free." I said "glutton-free"!

"You have ice water in your veins."

It was only Monday...but Dr Davies knew that it was going to be a long...long week...

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet.

"There are some things medical science cannot explain...like where the hell our health care system is heading."

'I'm going on vacation so here are a few prescriptions for a laxative, decongestant, antacid, analgesic, and antidepressant to tide you over.'

"The test results have come back - you ARE a t**t."

"Try and get some rest and in a week or two we'll put your brain back in."

'I suppose you're going to tell me I need new contact lenses.'

'It's me, Jack Gurkenman! I'm your ophthalmologist with the broken left ankle, doctor!'

"Your husband's laryngitis will probably last another wee but your blood pressure is nothing short of miraculous."

"You have natural causes.''

'That's the most unusual rash I've ever seen, Mr Lichtenstein.'

'That pest in 453 is being discharged.'

"It's for his shakes."

'I keep hearing a buzzing in my ears.'

"First, the good news; you're not sterile."

'We're a bit short of staff so if no-one answers the red button then you should try screaming 'Help me HELP ME Dear God I'm Dying' as loud as you can!'