Medical Sitcom Buff Gifts

'No, a defibrillator isn't isn't the same as a polygraph. You can keep lying as usual.'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"I just haven't been feeling very omnipotent lately."

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

"I'm Stuck" Proctologist

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'Doctor please come quick! His fever has gone from medium rare to well done!'

'My analysis indicates the need for an asbestos-ectomy, electrical-graphs and a plumbing-bypass.'

'Luckily, it doesn't look too serious.'

"The medic said he died of an ST-segment-elevated myocardial infarction -- Jack was always a showoff."

"There's a shortage of beds, dear."

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

Medical Center.

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

"Now, now, relax. All you're gonna feel is a quick jab."

'Just another couple of pages.'

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

Doctors often have to reassure the worried well.

'Why do you people always wait a week or two before seeking medical help?

When he got the wrong medication, no one would own up to it. They were real good at covering their own butts.

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet.

'The good news is that new medicine cleared up the spots, but...'

"There are some things medical science cannot explain...like where the hell our health care system is heading."