Medical Sitcom Buff Pillows

'No, a defibrillator isn't isn't the same as a polygraph. You can keep lying as usual.'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"I just haven't been feeling very omnipotent lately."

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

'Everything is going to be fine, Mrs.Witzer...'

"I'm Stuck" Proctologist

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'My analysis indicates the need for an asbestos-ectomy, electrical-graphs and a plumbing-bypass.'

'Doctor please come quick! His fever has gone from medium rare to well done!'

'Luckily, it doesn't look too serious.'

"Now, now, relax. All you're gonna feel is a quick jab."

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

"The medic said he died of an ST-segment-elevated myocardial infarction -- Jack was always a showoff."

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

"There's a shortage of beds, dear."

Medical Center.

'Just another couple of pages.'

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'Why do you people always wait a week or two before seeking medical help?

No, you don't need to be "gluten-free." I said "glutton-free"!

Doctors often have to reassure the worried well.

When he got the wrong medication, no one would own up to it. They were real good at covering their own butts.

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet.

'The good news is that new medicine cleared up the spots, but...'