Doctor Comedy Buff Pillows

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

"I just haven't been feeling very omnipotent lately."

'You've got the worst case of whatever this is, I've ever seen.'

"I'm Stuck" Proctologist

Medical Books - Lady Chatterley's Liver

'My analysis indicates the need for an asbestos-ectomy, electrical-graphs and a plumbing-bypass.'

'Doctor please come quick! His fever has gone from medium rare to well done!'

"I think you're suffering from nostalgia, Mr. Prentice."

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."

'I think it's your colon. I came to that conclusion through the process of elimination.'

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

"Your EKG corresponds with the stock market report."

Doctors often have to reassure the worried well.

"It'll have to stay on until your vasectomy heals..."

'I had this two years ago.'

"All good: This egg looks healthy as well..."

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet.

"There are some things medical science cannot explain...like where the hell our health care system is heading."

Calm down...this is for your own good.

'We've not met, but I'm your keyhole surgeon.'

Medicare: More is Better!

'Three, two, one. Stand clear.'

"I'm saying we lash out for the 'Deluxe' collagen treatment, next time, honey."

Grand rounds vs. ground rounds.

' 'Peppermint thumb' is one of our toughest cases to cure.'

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'