Loves Medical Shows Gifts

"You're in luck. My speciality is symptoms that are just crazy."

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

The Friendship Between Death and the Doctor.

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

'He's the star of a new medical series.'

"You've got to move. The bed is needed for another TV drama."

"You have ice water in your veins."

It was only Monday...but Dr Davies knew that it was going to be a long...long week...

"....I may never slither again."

"Your husband's operation was successful and he can now freely move his arms and legs!...You might want to consider having this surgery yourself!"

"You have natural causes.''

"Your husband's laryngitis will probably last another wee but your blood pressure is nothing short of miraculous."

'Ready, steady, Operate'

Your numerous prescriptions really have improved my love life. I'm dating my pharmacist.

'I had a great time tonight. I'd like to see you again in about six months.'

"Don't worry about a thing, I learned to do this in prison."

Am I Coming Down With Something?

"We still don't have a diagnosis for your rash, so we're going to run some more money on it and see what happens."

"Doctor, I'm fairly certain we've been feeding the wrong end for a week."

"Is there a doctor in the house...hopefully unmarried?"

'The bad news is you had two diseases no one in history ever had together, The good news is they canceled each other out'

With a hindsight exam result of 20/40, Harold hoped the new monocle would be less irritating than the last one.

Oh dear. I think your body rejected your cornea transplant.

"Let me through, I've seen every episode of casualty."

"Urine sample...I said sample!"

'You have a choice. An ultra-expensive medication that may cure you but has the side-effect of bankruptcy, OR a low-priced medication with a side-effect of a near-death experience.'

CITY HOSPITAL, 'It's all right, officer -- I'm an outpatient.'

'His heart was tragically deformed.'

Did I remember to TIVO today's medical shows?

"Frank here used to teach high school physiology, so if you value your Zygomatic arch or your Alveolar margins, you'll start talking."

"Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on a machine. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

"Do you have any fresh medical mumbo jumbo?"