Medical Shows Gifts

"Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on a machine. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

Cut hand while slicing bagels. All other emergencies.

"Press 1 to connect with a doctor $200."

Am I Coming Down With Something?

I thought watching major surgery on TV would make me wince, but they never showed the part about the patient dealing with their insurance company.

"I think I found the problem...."

"Your husband's operation was successful and he can now freely move his arms and legs!...You might want to consider having this surgery yourself!"

'The rules are simple: you each operate for six minutes, and at the end of the procedure, you vote off the worst surgeon.'

'Ready, steady, Operate'

"Well done, you've beaten the panel....What really appalling disease do you have?"

"You've got to move. The bed is needed for another TV drama."

"....I may never slither again."

Did I remember to TIVO today's medical shows?

'You might have quite a wait - we have a badly battered film crew ahead of you.'

"Let me through, I've seen every episode of casualty."

"Good news! You have something that I've seen on 'House'."

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

We saw this episode of Grey's Anatony, I recognize the symptoms.

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

Succession 2

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

The Friendship Between Death and the Doctor.

'Time for your pills.'

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

"Last week on 'Top Surgeon' Erica won immunity, while Carl was sent home for killing his patient during routine gallbladder surgery."

Infected Macron

"The x-rays came back, and — I'm sorry, but we found a very large attachment."

'I'm having my colon checked.'

'You're going to have to give up painting ceilings, Michelangelo !'

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

"He detects disease."

'Thanks for leaving that sponge in me, Doc. Now I can drink twice as much wine.'

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'