Hospital Shows Gifts

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

Providing Healthcare For All

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

STRIP Hambone: Businessman in hospital with his computer

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

"Why, Mr. Larsen! We were about ready to give up on you."

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

'Could you stay out of the room for awhile, Nurse? -- Every time you walk in here, his testosterone levels surge.'

"I came here to be treated - not flattered!"

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

Tin Can Operation.

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

"Look, look … someone wrote unoperable."

"Whoops..."

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

"Any improvement since I brought the balloon?"

Surgery Instructions.

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

'It's a screaming ladies part.'

"No wonder I'm getting feedback!"

"That's a semi-private room for you. You caught his, and he caught yours."