Hospital Shows T-Shirts

"No He didn't just fall asleep. He's COMA TOES."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

Providing Healthcare For All

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

STRIP Hambone: Businessman in hospital with his computer

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

"Why, Mr. Larsen! We were about ready to give up on you."

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

'Could you stay out of the room for awhile, Nurse? -- Every time you walk in here, his testosterone levels surge.'

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

"I came here to be treated - not flattered!"

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

Tin Can Operation.

"Look, look … someone wrote unoperable."

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

"Whoops..."

'Get me a hundred milligrams of Oxycontin... And pick up something for this guy while you're at it.'

'I'll give it back to you in a second hon, I just want to get this broccoli out of my teeth.'

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

"Any improvement since I brought the balloon?"

Surgery Instructions.

"No wonder I'm getting feedback!"

"That's a semi-private room for you. You caught his, and he caught yours."

Admissions lady: 'I don't take care of myself like I should ... my negligence probably killed a guy once ... I'm secretly attracted to you ...'