Medical Shows Pillows

"Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on a machine. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

Cut hand while slicing bagels. All other emergencies.

"Press 1 to connect with a doctor $200."

Am I Coming Down With Something?

"I think I found the problem...."

'The rules are simple: you each operate for six minutes, and at the end of the procedure, you vote off the worst surgeon.'

'Ready, steady, Operate'

"Well done, you've beaten the panel....What really appalling disease do you have?"

"You've got to move. The bed is needed for another TV drama."

"....I may never slither again."

Did I remember to TIVO today's medical shows?

'You might have quite a wait - we have a badly battered film crew ahead of you.'

"Let me through, I've seen every episode of casualty."

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

The Friendship Between Death and the Doctor.

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

'Time for your pills.'

Succession 2

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

"Last week on 'Top Surgeon' Erica won immunity, while Carl was sent home for killing his patient during routine gallbladder surgery."

Infected Macron

"The x-rays came back, and — I'm sorry, but we found a very large attachment."

'I'm having my colon checked.'

'You're going to have to give up painting ceilings, Michelangelo !'

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

Scrip Doctor

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

"When you think about it, you have to be a complete idiot not to believe aliens crashed at Roswell in 1947." "Before 1947: primitive cars, planes, and radio. After 1947: space ships, quantum computing, internet." "Let me try... Before 1947: no bikinis. After 1947: bikinis." "No, wait... The bikini was 1946. That throws this whole theory into question." "We really should have our own science show."

Celebration in operating theatre.

'Thanks for leaving that sponge in me, Doc. Now I can drink twice as much wine.'

"He detects disease."

'He's the star of a new medical series.'

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'