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'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

Jester Surgeon

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'Quick, do a background search and see if this doctor passed his boards!'

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

'The doctor will be with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

There's Nothing Worse Than A Staff Infection

'I've got this feeling, like a heavy weight on my stomach.'

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

'No, no, no. Shout 'clear' BEFORE zapping him.'

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'And I think you'll find something extra in your dessert, Hon.'

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

Until Bob entered her life, Lisa never even knew the meaning of the phrase 'acute multiple drug-resistant infection by transgenic Staphylococcus aureus.

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

'Luckily, it doesn't look too serious.'