Medical Comedy Lovers T-Shirts

"It's Lyme disease again."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

"All my symptoms are old ... "

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'Who wants to be examined first?'

'A Caesarian? - But I want my son to be a natural-born citizen!'

"I think it stopped breathing."

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

"My first night in the lab and I was clearly the smallest brain in the place."

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

"I just haven't been feeling very omnipotent lately."

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"The patient in 12-C needs comforting."

"It's probably a fracture - we'll do some imaging on it just to be sure."

'Quick, do a background search and see if this doctor passed his boards!'

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

'The doctor will be with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'That's not what I meant by 'IV'.'