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"Is there a doctor in the house...hopefully unmarried?"

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

'A Caesarian? - But I want my son to be a natural-born citizen!'

The Friendship Between Death and the Doctor.

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

'I've got this feeling, like a heavy weight on my stomach.'

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

"Looks like you've been renewed fro one more season."

'My diagnostic software is acting up. It says you are pregnant.'

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'During the heart-transplant, since it was your birthday, I went ahead and added two more inches, no charge.'

'Luckily, it doesn't look too serious.'

"There's a shortage of beds, dear."

Medical Center.

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

"The medic said he died of an ST-segment-elevated myocardial infarction -- Jack was always a showoff."

The Uterus in the form of a Ewe

"Would you like to cut the cord?"

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'Say, please.'

"You've got to move. The bed is needed for another TV drama."

'He's the star of a new medical series.'

'First the good news - we've all got to go sometime...'

"You have the Hum bug.'

'I'm going on vacation so here are a few prescriptions for a laxative, decongestant, antacid, analgesic, and antidepressant to tide you over.'

"Try and get some rest and in a week or two we'll put your brain back in."

"The test results have come back - you ARE a t**t."

'Mind that molar, careful of that canine...'

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

'Whoops! Get my lawyer on the phone!'

'Oh, don't mind them, We're shooting a reality-based TV series,'