Medical Check-up Gifts

Doctor: 'Your discomfort may well be a bandwidth issue.'

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

'Triglycerides? Let's just say when your cholesterol,HDL and LDL are partying it up, he's the guy you want to gate crash!'

"I try to 'go with the flow' doc, but my prostate is an unwilling participant!"

Angela would go on to start a new meme sub-genre called 'meme-ograms.'

Looking at the ultrasound, you are either pregnant or have a virus.

'Try not to think about your car-parking charges.'

'Your heart is slightly larger but that's because you're an animal lover.'

"Exactly how far up the chimney?"

Medical Exam

"The tests are back and you're bright-eyed and bushy-tailed."

'You're in perfect health, which, I'm afraid, is an early sign of something eventually going wrong.'

"The doctor will see you now, warts and all."

'Say 'Ho'. . . again 'Ho'. . . again. . . 'Ho'.'

"Which do you want first, the good news that sounds better than it is or the bad news that seems worse than you expected?"

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

"The last time I heard a beat like this I was at a Grateful Dead concert."

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

'Oh, relax - you're doing great for your age...but I am a little concerned about out computer's old operating system.'

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

"You need to do less talking the talk and more walking the walk."

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"Looks like you've been renewed fro one more season."

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

'The needle was THIS big!'

Prostate Exam Second Opinion