Medical Check-ups Gifts

A Man with poor eyesight has misjudged the Optometrist's door and smashed into the wall

"You're fit to stand trial, Mr. Douglas, so feel free to get out there and commit a crime."

"Odd - you have bad cholesterol, good cholesterol, and some cholesterol that wonders why everyone can't just get along."

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

'Look on the bright side, Mr. Reynolds. At leasat it's not a perennial.'

'I also examined you for insurance but didn't find any.'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

"The last time I heard a beat like this I was at a Grateful Dead concert."

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

'Oh, relax - you're doing great for your age...but I am a little concerned about out computer's old operating system.'

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

"You need to do less talking the talk and more walking the walk."

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"Looks like you've been renewed fro one more season."

"I try to 'go with the flow' doc, but my prostate is an unwilling participant!"

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

'The needle was THIS big!'

Prostate Exam Second Opinion

'His next appointment is on the 17th when the clock's little hand is on the two and the big one's on the nine.'

'But I think shopping three times a week is more than enough exercise!'

"I didn't even get a balloon."

"You've got bunions, hammertoes and plantar fasciitis. Bad feet must run in your family." "Nobody runs in my family."

"Take up some light exercise or a sporting activity - as a football perhaps."

"Well your results would be normal if you were a 108 and smoked a 60 a day!"

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

"Good for you for getting your mammogram."