Medic Gifts

"First, we need to stabilize his spine!"

'Is this a foreleg? Back leg? Antenna?....'

'I don't think it's a concussion . . . although the smoke has me concerned.'

'in the computer model the only side effect was a dry mouth.'

"God, I hate needles!"

Football crazy

'I don't suppose it occured to you to simply agree to disagree?'

'We appreciate your concern, but as I've told you multiple times, Mr Turnip, youn just can't help us.'

'No broken bones. You're lucky, looks like the tree helped break your fall.'

'Sleep on your stomach.'

'Hellooo, I can spell'

'Too tight?'

"Don't worry it's only natural to be a little nervous before a big operation."

DIY / Jr. Nurse.

"Glad to hear my health's improved since my last visit. But to be honest, Doc...I never did anything you advised!"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"You clean him up! You're the one who gave him sleeping tablets and a laxative!"

'Shall I call an ambulance or will you walk alongside?'

'Quick! Page the flight deck, bring me oxygen, gloves, a mask and someone junior!'

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

The exhilarating sport of Paramedic-ing.

"Clear!"

'Said he was fixing the ceiling fan. . .'

'Sylvia? It's Allen. Listen, I accidentally left the shop with a knee ligament kit...Yeah, yeah, I know. I am an idiot. Anyway, could you send someone out pronto with the kit for rotator cuffs?'

'...But I want to be miles away when the athletic trainer peels that tape off his hairy leg.'

'Well, there don't seem to be any broken bones, ,,, Ha I've always wanted to say that,'

'Relax, Scooterman I'm going to try the Heimlich maneuver, Unless the football is wedged in sideways, it should pop right out,'

"The view up there really is breathtaking."

'Never mind! He's in an HMO. ...They're sending a tow truck.'

'...The athletic trainer's coming with the WD-40.'

'You pulse is as steady as a clock.' - 'You're holding my watch.'

'It's a clear case of dehydration.'

'Calm down. Maybe you tore ligaments and maybe you didn't... does it hurt when I bend your leg like this?'

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

Team medic spraying deodorant