Medic Prints

"First, we need to stabilize his spine!"

'Is this a foreleg? Back leg? Antenna?....'

'I don't think it's a concussion . . . although the smoke has me concerned.'

'in the computer model the only side effect was a dry mouth.'

"God, I hate needles!"

'I don't suppose it occured to you to simply agree to disagree?'

Football crazy

'No broken bones. You're lucky, looks like the tree helped break your fall.'

'No. I said, 'Inhale deeply, and hold your breath.''

'We appreciate your concern, but as I've told you multiple times, Mr Turnip, youn just can't help us.'

'Too tight?'

'Hellooo, I can spell'

'Sleep on your stomach.'

"Don't worry it's only natural to be a little nervous before a big operation."

"Glad to hear my health's improved since my last visit. But to be honest, Doc...I never did anything you advised!"

DIY / Jr. Nurse.

'Which is it, Bill? You had a terrible accident and survived without a scratch. Or, you had a terrible accident and lost a lot of blood?'

"You clean him up! You're the one who gave him sleeping tablets and a laxative!"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

The exhilarating sport of Paramedic-ing.

'Quick! Page the flight deck, bring me oxygen, gloves, a mask and someone junior!'

"Clear!"

'Shall I call an ambulance or will you walk alongside?'

'Well, there don't seem to be any broken bones, ,,, Ha I've always wanted to say that,'

'You pulse is as steady as a clock.' - 'You're holding my watch.'

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

'...The athletic trainer's coming with the WD-40.'

'Never mind! He's in an HMO. ...They're sending a tow truck.'

'Said he was fixing the ceiling fan. . .'

"The view up there really is breathtaking."

'It's a clear case of dehydration.'

'Relax, Scooterman I'm going to try the Heimlich maneuver, Unless the football is wedged in sideways, it should pop right out,'

'I wasn't sure if the wine was breathing, so I've been giving it mouth-to-mouth.'

'Calm down. Maybe you tore ligaments and maybe you didn't... does it hurt when I bend your leg like this?'