Media Surfer Gifts

Ask about our new p-chip to tune out politics.

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

If nobody had invented graphics

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

Video Henge: made from melting and molding 3,000,000 obsolete VCR tapes.

Baby on board.

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

TV-Man

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Trick or Tweet

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

Stephen Fry

"You've got computer-breath."

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

Moses Today. Due to the sensitive nature of this matter, my source wishes to remain anonymous.

'This seashell does not sound like the ocean... It sounds like someone yelling 'Look out!''

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

"To retrieve password: Please answer your secret question, which is, 'what is your password?' hahahaha!"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu

John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

How I met your mother

"Dow's up!"

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

'I love to see you all so busy!'