Digital News Surfer Gifts

'I've trained him to fetch the paper.'

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

Trick or Tweet

"You've got computer-breath."

"That newspaper has been showing up ever since you started reading the news online. I think it feels betrayed."

'Ever since I started reading the newswpaper online, he's been bringing my computer to me.'

"To retrieve password: Please answer your secret question, which is, 'what is your password?' hahahaha!"

John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.

'I love to see you all so busy!'

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

'I agree. You should definitely increase your refresh rate!'

"Respect the park's Natural beauty. No Instagram filters."

Cyber Dream

"The meaning of life, eh? Beats me... Let's google it."

"The WiFi password is: 'buysomethingorgetout'."

'If I got the job as a sales manager here at Zenadine, I would probably straggle in around 10, then surf the Net for a while, do a crossword...'

'We seem to have more luck getting people to accept cookies rather than broccoli when they visit websites.'

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

'It's too late! Bob's brain has been sucked out by the internet!'

Robotics Inc. We have performance evaluations today, so be sure to clear your browser history.

"You've got web feet"

Jimi Hendrix Website - PLEASE LEAVE FEEDBACK

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

'I wish Brother Gregory would spend less time surfing the 'net.''

"We lose more productivity to viral internet memes than we do to actual viruses."

The Wiki Man.

Hot Towel Web Service

My Countree

Websiteless -- please help.

'He's determined to not pay for The Times online.'

Well, whenever I lose MY sense of identity, I Google myself.

'Enough EBAY already!'

"I can't log-on. Some-one disabled cookies."

'Keeping up with technology is a full-time job.'