Thought Surfer Gifts

'What is it, Harold. You seem to be distracted.'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Surfing the daily stress

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

TV-Man

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Trick or Tweet

"You've got computer-breath."

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

'An encyclopedia? I don't know. Let's look up what it is on Wikipedia.'

"To retrieve password: Please answer your secret question, which is, 'what is your password?' hahahaha!"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

How I met your mother

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

'I love to see you all so busy!'

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

Cyber Dream

Like Minded

"The WiFi password is: 'buysomethingorgetout'."

'I agree. You should definitely increase your refresh rate!'

"The meaning of life, eh? Beats me... Let's google it."

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

Remote control wars.

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

'We seem to have more luck getting people to accept cookies rather than broccoli when they visit websites.'

"We interrupt this rubbish to give you another chance to switch off."

'It's too late! Bob's brain has been sucked out by the internet!'

Digital TV presents "It's true there really is a channel for everyone"