Stereotype Surfer Gifts

"Wow! That's incredible! I mean...how did you know I used to be a white guy?"

Surfing the daily stress

"Why on earth do you insist on coming to this miserable, isolated, rocky, small island every year to roost? It's covered in guano! Disgusting..."

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"You'll never make it as a doctor with handwriting like this. I understood every word."

California Beverages Map

'We've been lucky - sometimes you can be out here the whole day and fail to see a single boat!'

The wetsuit preferred by 9 out of 10 executive windsurfers.

'Honestly Fred, we're only here for the day trip.'

Wave of new developers following the tide of distributors.

"Hmm... I wonder what I can find to trigger my self-righteous indignation today..?"

"I'd like to have myself declared legally blonde."

'What is it, Harold. You seem to be distracted.'

'That's what I call riding the barrel!'

'I suppose you think you're funny?'

"It's from my Swiss account."

"Serf's up"

Lady to man about big hole in wall: 'Show some gumption. Are you a man ... or are you a mouse?!'

City travel agency: 'Send me somewhere with women who appriciate a real man!'

7 Reasons You Might Be Irish. . .

'Click on the icon.'

Man Juggling Problems

"My dad is a doctor and this his tool."

'I'm going to give you a prescription for your walking pneumonia...Take one pill every three miles.'

Notice. I no longer respond to an questions regarding kilts! Thank you.

'Can Johnny come out?'

Surfing the Brown Water.

'You think he's good now...you should see him when he's sober!'

'He's the perfect telly commercial husband - looks vague, useless and utterly stupid.'

'I still have a soft spot for my ex- like quicksand!'

Pirate sees man on toilet sign has peg leg

"We use females. The males don't do well with directions."

The problem is not in your set or at the station. That leaves only you, doesn't it?

Canadian Standoff

'It good to have a gay cowboy or two in the outfit. They always carry lotions and moisturizers.'