Screen Surfer Gifts

"Hi. My name is Barry, and I check my E-mail two to three hundred times a day."

"Whaddaya say we turn off the television, go upstairs, get into bed and turn on our computers?"

"You have tiny websites burned onto your retinas!"

"You gotta help me stop looking up stuff I don't actually care about."

Tech stocks rose on news that 98% of the population are addicted to gadgets.

"Dad, the WiFi is down! Also, why didn't you tell me it's summer?"

"I just can't stop checking my personal email. I don't know what I'm expecting to see in my inbox."

"Did you see that documentary about set meters" "Well the TV was on but I wasn't really watching it"

Digital Childhoods

"I'm not screwing around on my computer. . . I'm screwing around on my phone."

Modern Studying

"When you said something about a stream, I thought you were talking about video."

"I have followed too much the devices and desires of my own heart, and there is no health in me."

Mobile attention

"If you didn't sit around sucking up bandwidth all day, maybe your waistband-width would get smaller."

Man at his computer

Surfing on your phone

'There's nothing worth watching on TV, but he's not going to let a little thing like that stop him.'

Hot Towel Web Service

LOVERS' LEAP, 'This Internet addiction thing is scary!'

I'm on break.

'Must...find...something...intelligent..!'

Targeted ads

"Remember when we used to waste our entire lives for free?"

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

"I'd love to, but my phone and I are having dinner that night."

Santa tries talking to kids with screen addictions.

"You've got computer-breath."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Moses on the web

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

TV-Man

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

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