Surfer Viewer Gifts

I'm a "feudal monarch" --- Not a "serfer dude"!

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

Baby on board.

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

TV-Man

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

"You've got computer-breath."

"I know he's funny, boy, but he’s also the president of the United States."

'This seashell does not sound like the ocean... It sounds like someone yelling 'Look out!''

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

How I met your mother

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

Remote control wars.

'No surf?'

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

'I agree. You should definitely increase your refresh rate!'

'Another nice wave.'

"Should be back soon. He's just out catching a few x-rays."

Surfing kangaroo #1 Hawaiian shirt.

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

"We interrupt this rubbish to give you another chance to switch off."

Sex Section in the Library

Oh Darling, you've got a bit of surfer stuck in you teeth.