Tv Surfing Fan Gifts

'Let's take a short break from business and visit the gourmet cooking channel.'

Surfing koala.

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

'Bummer Dude! No waves. Moondoggie punked me!'

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

Woah, This was well worth swapping my flying saucer for!

TV Situations vacant.

Moses' TV guide.

"Well, now we know what Letterman's doing, what are we doing?"

Liz Hurley

'They had to increase security. He's being stalked by a deranged paleontologist.'

I lost as a contestant on the quiz show, but they gave me this lovely parting gift...

"If you can't see the sea I can recommend an optician in the High Street."

It's on. My new favorite game show! Welcome to: Garbage, recycling or compost?! Dana from New York you can walk away with $10,000 or try to double the green! Double, please. Okay, Dana, here's your object: A takeout container from a local restaurant. Garbage, recycling or compost? Geez. I'm guessing it would depend on whether it's got some cardboard or it's fully biodegradable. Final answer? Recycling. Wrong. Garbage! I knew it. Ridicule her! You've lost your green, loser! I'm sorry. I try so ha

Pastor of Muppets

"Let's welcome Elaine back from her two weeks in Hawaii and hope this passes soon..."

'Well, it WAS worth nine thousand dollars. Sorry about that.'

"Popular astrologer and psychic Malder Tercado's contract with a national Spanish-language TV network was not renewed. Tercado was reportedly surprised by the news...saying he didn't see it coming."

"This year has been a disaster. But, my breaking point was when Apple TV+ hijacked 'It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown,' away from network television."

'Happy 50th PBS.'

'I'd like to buy a towel.'

'If you smiled in the mornings, you'd come up in the ratings, too.'

99 Dalmations - Edited for television.

'I hate rainy days!'

Nigella Lawson

'Too much TV, maybe. Is there a John Wane marathon going on?'

Shark Surfing the Waves.

"We've had to rename it, no one watches talk shows anymore."

Televised Insomnia Benefit Telethon puts couple to sleep.

"Dude, are you taking selfies?"

"Rats, we can't bow ride this one: it's a hovercraft..."

They watch for a while, then, unlike humans, they get bored.

"This Fall on NBC: Fish Out of Water"

'Please turn it down - Daddy's trying to do your homework.'