Media Addicts Gifts

Man rummaging through a TV set throwing out bits of paper

Showbiz Awards

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"They grow up so fast."

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

Create some buzz!

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

Stephen Fry

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

Big screen TV falling through floor

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

"The end of my favorite series is near."

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Binge Watch

Newspaper suicide.

"Oh my God, they're gassing refugees. Look at this family!"

DVD extras - the making of the boxed set.

'Hello Mr Preston? This is an ALIEN speaking. We have landed in your paddock. We have mutilated your cows. We have made loud crashing noises...what the hell is on your TV that's so special?'

NOVA. Don't worry --- The "vacuum of space" is not that kind of vacuum.

"Don't open me, you fool!"

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

Presenter Auditions.

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

Spooning

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

Can't Touch This

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'