Meat Market Insider Gifts

Fats' career had really hit the skids: the butcher, the grocer, the slaughterhouse - nobody wanted him anymore.

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

A boy who loves cows/burgers

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

Human meat.

'I overheard the farmer say I have a future at McDonalds.'

Angry Bulls about to try out their version of Butchering on an unsuspecting Butcher

'Acme Meat - meat products, bi-products, and bi-product spinoffs...'

"Apparently we're reared by people who share the values of the people who eat us."

"God, I'll never eat another hot dog again after seeing how they're made!"

"The working conditions don't bother me half so much as the retirement plan."

For once, I'd like to order a non-soy-based tofu substitute. No more health food. I have Tofurkey.

"Ooh...this looks like fun. I could do with a good giggle!"

'I'm amazed they had ANY meat in them.'

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

"Have you considered the option of being chopped up into small pieces and chargrilled in a mid range restaurant?"

'Well, SURE our customers want more nutritional information, but what about OUR privacy?'

"This is it! The perfect turkey!"

Taxidermy and Exotic Meats.

"I think we've been hacked."

United Steaks of America.

Meat sellers discuss the eating habits of their customers

"If you ask me hog futures don't look very promising."

'Do any of us die of old age?'

Naming the Chickow meat. Cheef. Bicken. Beeficken??

The bad news is that there was an accident yesterday. The good news is that the sausages are free today.'

'Hey Fred, how's the salami business?'

"You are going to be very popular in the near future."

'It put up a good fight.'

'Sometimes I think I like animals better than people.'

"So that's how they set the soybean price."

"Who wants a little treat tartare?"