Meat-free Crusader Gifts

DIY Butchers

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

'It says right here on the package, Ed, 'avoid any direct contact with skin'!'

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

Man in radiation suit with 'Fresh Farm Produce'.

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

"If you think this is bad, you should see what they do to themselves"

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

Man rolling the world across a shaky bridge between organic food and genetic food.

"I've been mutated into the strawberry field. Get me out now."

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."

'Sorry we don't do black decaf.'

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

"I remember when we wouldn't buy the bent knobbly ones. Now we pay twice as much for them."

'There's a pork roast in the oven and a casserole in the microwave....two minutes on high.'

Go Veggie...

"I will avenge the underdone fish that ruined my dinner if it's the last thing I ever do."

'Do you mind if my son watches you cook? I'm trying to bring him up to be a vegetarian.'

"Dealing with a poorly informed public over GM crops is a nightmare...."

'Okay! Okay! Maybe we do have a global warming problem.'

"I'd like to lose 35%of me!"

'I was aiming at mama but she ducked faster than you.'

'Yes, it's full of chemicals.'

Lost CatCat Found.

"Is it safe to assume that the meat is laced with antibiotics and the salad is chockfull of pesticides?"

HEAD CHEF - A chef collects the heads of the chefs that rank below him.

Traditional chefs revolt against new 'Robo-chef'' technology.

Super Cow

New windmills to fight?

'These are called cigarette butts: Humans throw them everywhere and they end up here!'

"The usual"

Carb free support group: 'Oh boy! I can have my cake and not eat it, too!'

'I'll have the chopped steak, without bacterial contamination and without mad cow virus.'

"When you're ready to order, ask for me by name. We work on commission."