Meat Cuisine Gifts

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

Counting ribs

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

"Rump roast?"

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

Important Food Groups

Queen of Quinoa

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Artisan hot dog stand has pigs tethered to it.

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"What's happened to Quiche?"

"The bagels are better in New York."

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

The Perfect Foil

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"How's the salmon?"

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

"The waiter said he wouldn't recommend the octopus, so what do you order? The octopus."

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

Sausages!