Meat Culture Gifts

Family Butcher.

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

Important Food Groups

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

Artisan hot dog stand has pigs tethered to it.

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"Is it free-range?"

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

*=Hotdog

'Bacon-butties are my favourite!'

I assure you the animals didn't suffer. All of our meat comes from animals who died naturally of old age while vacationing in Miami.

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

'The butler did it.'

Down on Her.

Pig tails connected. Title: 'Where Sausage Links Begin'

"Veal or non-veal?"

'Snob, he won't eat domestic slugs, just imports.'

Pigs at butcher: 'One day son, all this will be you..'

"Appetizer is almost done."

'I overheard the farmer say I have a future at McDonalds.'

Cooked rare.