Meal Time Storyteller Gifts

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

Late night teddy reading

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

Shadow Puppet Bunny Threatened By Shadow Hawk

'She's just great with the children.'

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

'Read me the one about the ant and the obsessive-compulsive grasshopper.'

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

"I'm actually pretty ready for bed."

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"And if that diamond ring don’t shine, Poppa will probably take it back to 47th Street and get something for your mother."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

Why don't you ever like to spoon?

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

',,,and they all lived happily ever after, Now close your eyes and go to sleep'

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

"Am I looking happy or sad in the appropriate places?"

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."