Supper Storyteller Gifts

'This mandarin chicken is delicious, Dad. It tastes like you bought it yourself.'

Announcement at teatime

Late night teddy reading

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

Shadow Puppet Bunny Threatened By Shadow Hawk

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

'She's just great with the children.'

'Read me the one about the ant and the obsessive-compulsive grasshopper.'

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"I'm actually pretty ready for bed."

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

"And if that diamond ring don’t shine, Poppa will probably take it back to 47th Street and get something for your mother."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

'Mary had a little lamb - with mint jelly.'

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

Why don't you ever like to spoon?

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

Hot pot

',,,and they all lived happily ever after, Now close your eyes and go to sleep'

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

'Wait a second, Dad...did the three little pigs have a home owner's policy to cover huffing and puffing?'