Stove Storyteller Gifts

Hot pot

Shepherd and eurydice

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

Edgar Allen Poe

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."