Maturing Pillows

'Son, I think you're old enough now to know about the birds and the fleas.'

"Dad, I've been thinking it might make things better between us if I just called you Ed."

"My father would never let me marry a boy with a combover."

"You're not the same pupa you were when we first met."

There comes a time when every horse girl... becomes a horse woman.

"Good news, mom and dad! It took 20 years, but I finally over my 'I know more than you' phase."

"Junior's moved back home! It took him less than a week to work out that the grass is not always greener on the other side..."

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

"So, what do you do for play?"

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

Three kids in a trench coat, twenty years later.

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'Where Are They Now?'

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

'I've been watering myself by taking showers. How come I'm not growing as tall as your plants?'

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

'I'm afraid my husband will stop loving me as I get older.' - 'Mine would never do that with me. You know why, don't you. He's an antique dealer.'

'And, may I add, this hat does not scream, 'Bald Guy'.'

"Oh, that's my cousin. I'm the Bluebird of Mid-Life Existential Despair!"

"I didn't start seriously accessorizing until my mid-thirties."

"Awake and doing great"

'I must be growing up. I've caught myself washing my hands without being told to.'

How to injury yourself as an adult

Secrets of Adulthood.

"I know it hurts, Henry, but sooner of later everybody has to condo the home he grew up in."

Beware... the Piñata of Adulthood

"This can't be happening! I'm supposed to be a cool adult! At least I bet I have a cool car!"

'I must be getting old. I've stopped trying to come up with ways to drive you crazy.'

"Life is full of transitions...like from student loan to credit card debt."

"The trouble with children is they don't act like adults."

Rex grits his teeth, puts on his big boy pantaloons and gears up for the day ahead.

"Sure, he's ascended to a god-like state. But from what I hear, he's still on his family's cell phone plan."

Adult attention deficit disorders (A.A.D.D.)