Mature Humorist Gifts

'Firstly Madame, the Green Grocer is across the road and secondly that should explain why your 'bananas' are vibrating...!'

Middle-Age Superheroes

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

'Man...You age great!'

"Kevin, I'm leaving you to find myself ... a better Internet connection."

Pop Top Ice FIshing

This man is an island.

"I've thought about retiring, but there's a great deal of gravity under this chair."

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

'The little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home and shopped online...'

"You text LOL, but you have yet to actualize LOL..."

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

James Bond: Senior Years.

The Devil making snow angels.

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

"The good new is I found your dentures. The bad news is the dog has a new chew toy."

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

Mort, the doctor says you can't get too riled up. It's bad for your heart. Yes, dear. You're not a young man anymore. You're not in tip-top shape. You don't eat well. You're not so muscular. I'm not a fan of your haircut. Nurse!

'It's sadly ironic in a way - He can't hear the hearing aid commercials.'

Short on top, medium on the sides, and not bald in back.

"Lemonade App: $1"

Gotta take you out, kid – You're getting booed off the field on my Twitter feed.

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

"I know I'm getting old when one big fart throws my back out."

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

"You boys who have to take your medications with food, now's the time."

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

"I don't think your old sports jersey shrunk. I think you grew."

"These days, I don't eat homework. I just install ransomware."