Mattress Money Saver Gifts

"I think I need a professional money manager. I invest sixty five percent of my money gambling in casinos and thirty five percent I keep under the mattress."

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

'What do you do with the time you save?'

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"I just..."

'I'd like to explain my ideas for economy within the company.'

'It's cheaper than gas.'

Fries and kids

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

A smiling man leaning on large piggy bank.

"Your portfolio is too conservative."

Downside of a memory foam mattress.

'How much did you save this year?'

Three people view wine price 3 ways.

"Do you know that we saved a ton of money on legal fees by being more ethical?"

Girl holding money.

"Well, NOW I can't sleep worrying about how much we spent on this high-tech mattress!"

How much would you take off for cash?

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

"Voila! Our tree-trimming drone just saved us 600 bucks!'

'So, who's first?'

'I want to return this wallet. I can't seem to keep any money in it.'

"I'm not worried about Wall Street. I've got my money in my mattress."

The Mattress Savings Bank

Save! O% interest on your deposits.

'Today a ray of hope . . .'

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

'After paying for an investment seminar, I know more about how to invest less money.'

"I keep my savings under my mattress. It's the only way I'll ever be able to retire on my money."

"Agh! My back is stiff. I think I need a new mattress."

'The hospital food was terrible, but the savings were substantial.'