Mattress Shopping Gifts

"OK, I think it's time for you to close the deal."

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

Leda knew it was serious when the visited Ikea together.

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Man and woman buying furniture.

"It's been unanimously decided that we don't like this table. Could you show us another model?"

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

Den Furniture

"It's also a flat-bed scanner."

"Hmmm. Not sure it will go with my wife."

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

'This one's got a mahogany finish, easy to assemble and comes with a magical kingdom as standard.'

"Well, NOW I can't sleep worrying about how much we spent on this high-tech mattress!"

"This one seems perfect, but do you have it in red?"

'Today a ray of hope . . .'

"I think I need a professional money manager. I invest sixty five percent of my money gambling in casinos and thirty five percent I keep under the mattress."

'We'll take it. Come along Rex.'

'OVERSLEPT? All four thousand of them???'

'Sleeping through Monday is the coward's way out!'

'Now THAT'S what I call a love seat!'

'And the 'World's Greatest Boss' mug comes with the desk.'

"I finally figured out what was causing my backache. You know that fancy modern office furniture I ordered a few weeks back? I just realized. I've been sitting on the wastebasket."

Ikea for Hippies

Mattress makers picketing in front of factory are sleepwalking.

'Perhaps you'd like to try something a little firmer, madam?'

Memory Foam Mattress.

"It's our best seller. Perfect for sitting idly by."

"Agh! My back is stiff. I think I need a new mattress."

"I was a mattress tester, but was fired for oversleeping and being late for work."

Desk sale

"I like it – I'm just not sure it's what I want to rot on."

"A secure and restful sleep is guaranteed when this mattress is stuffed with your own money."