Mattress Shopping Gifts

"OK, I think it's time for you to close the deal."

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

Leda knew it was serious when the visited Ikea together.

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Man and woman buying furniture.

Downside of a memory foam mattress.

"It's been unanimously decided that we don't like this table. Could you show us another model?"

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

Den Furniture

"It's also a flat-bed scanner."

"This one seems perfect, but do you have it in red?"

"Well, NOW I can't sleep worrying about how much we spent on this high-tech mattress!"

'This one's got a mahogany finish, easy to assemble and comes with a magical kingdom as standard.'

"Hmmm. Not sure it will go with my wife."

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

"I think I need a professional money manager. I invest sixty five percent of my money gambling in casinos and thirty five percent I keep under the mattress."

'Today a ray of hope . . .'

'We'll take it. Come along Rex.'

'OVERSLEPT? All four thousand of them???'

Mattress makers picketing in front of factory are sleepwalking.

'Sleeping through Monday is the coward's way out!'

'Now THAT'S what I call a love seat!'

'And the 'World's Greatest Boss' mug comes with the desk.'

"I finally figured out what was causing my backache. You know that fancy modern office furniture I ordered a few weeks back? I just realized. I've been sitting on the wastebasket."

Ikea for Hippies

'Perhaps you'd like to try something a little firmer, madam?'

Memory Foam Mattress.

"Agh! My back is stiff. I think I need a new mattress."

"It's our best seller. Perfect for sitting idly by."

"I was a mattress tester, but was fired for oversleeping and being late for work."

Your friend, Ernie, is an impressive, multi-talented guy! He's been a actor in the theater, in archeologist, and now he's a diplomat! He hasn't been any of those things. He used to install doors. Oh, he told me he was "applauded for his entrances." And he was an inspector, book for expired yogurt, at the dairy warehouse. He said he "searcher for ancient cultures." Now he sells mattresses. You think he's a diplomat? Yeah, he told me he's "devoted to eliminating unrest in the world"

"A secure and restful sleep is guaranteed when this mattress is stuffed with your own money."

Desk sale

"I like it – I'm just not sure it's what I want to rot on."