Math Nerds Gifts

'These are the happiest years of my life, eh? -- you obviously haven't met my algebra teacher!'

Things equal to the same thing are equal to each other. That's "Euclid." Some of us call him "Mister Obvious."

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

'Uhhh... Houston, we have a problem.'

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

Pi Ala Mode.

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

A Major Refresher Course is in Order.

New Road Signs to Watch For:

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

'I have to agree -- the value of pie goes on indefinitely.'

'Maths is fun!'

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

'Single math professor in search of an intelligent woman. Send an example of your favorite equation.'

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

Graduation Speech.

When Cells Divide

Common Core Family Therapy

Gloat

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

"Well, I'm studying mathematics and I'm sure that's tougher than math."

"Papi, will you play build-a-model-rocket-so-we-can-calculate-acceleration-rates-and-thrust-levels-for-maximum-payload with me? Please?!"

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

An Abacus in the form of 70s Pop group ABBA

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.