Math Chuckler Gifts

School janitor empties numbers out of math room waste basket.

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'If your cell phone has five hundred minutes, and you use one of them during this class, how long will you be in detention?'

Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

tax

"Pi and mash squared please."

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

"Some consider me the Pollock of calculus."

Hexagon.

"So the year '2020' can also be written. . ."

A Wrecked-angle.

"For her birthday I bought my wife an abacus...

'He's our Spam expert!'

'Assuming, of course, that a woodchuck could chuck wood.'

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

Zorro does algebra.

'Math would be more fun if we weren't always studying pyramids.'

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

"Mom, are we vegetarians for ethical or religious reasons?"

"...so he comes back into the room, he turns around, he puts the chicken on the table and he says, "All right, potassium chloride.""

Let's ask Square ... He always has the right angle on things.

STRIP Hambone: Computer health analysis

Mathematician Food Fights.

'Bless you!'