Maternal Marvel Gifts

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

2021

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

"The first one's just a warning."

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

Motivation to work

'Your reflexes are still good!'

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

"That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again."

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

"Jerry's blood pressure jumped to a six month high on News of the dollar's weakness."

'Well I haven't had a chance to review all your readings in depth, but if I were to be forced to make an educated guess I'd say that your were knackered!'

'My obstetrician recommended I nurture it in the interest of science.'

'You MAY feel a teeny-tiny pin-prick..'