Materialism Debaters Gifts

"So you can take it with you!"

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

'I suppose we've got to keep a sense of perspective. The Greeks waste our money, the French merely spend it.'

"You cheap shit! Why can't we have a designer divorce?"

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

"I'll take new members any way I can get them."

More Unequal Than Others

With Liberty handcuffed,,the thought police pursue happiness,

Yellow Vests

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

'Palintology'

"Not only is the grass greener, but check out that Mercedes!"

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

The Elephant in the Corner.

"The glass is half full."

School of Voodoo Economics

New Gods

'The trouble with trickle-down economics is, when it gets down to me, it keeps right on trickling.'

"Good morning, Mrs. Kiley."

Consumerism junkie.

An optimist, a pessimist & an optometrist.

Other Patron Saints of Christmas

Einstein felt vindicated to discover that god in fact did not play dice. He did, though, enjoy a nice game of cribbage.

Agnostics Society: Absolute worst place to ask for directions.

"Never mind."

Carotene: A carrot with raging hormones.

"To eventually be rich enough to throw away brand new stuff."

"For Gladys it's not the thought that counts, it's the size of the gift."

'Now, if we could only figure out how to get them to work in the womb, we could get the work done even cheaper.'

''Creationism'? †Those little twerps are always trying to shift the blame!'

"Why would your god (an incomprehensibly vast cosmic mind who created the entire universe from massive black holes to the tiniest of quantum particles) ever care about men having anal?"

'If trickle down economics works, how come the bankers end up with the $700 billion?'