Materialism Debaters Gifts

"So you can take it with you!"

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"I shop, therefore I am."

'I suppose we've got to keep a sense of perspective. The Greeks waste our money, the French merely spend it.'

"You cheap shit! Why can't we have a designer divorce?"

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

"I'll take new members any way I can get them."

Yellow Vests

With Liberty handcuffed,,the thought police pursue happiness,

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

'Palintology'

"Not only is the grass greener, but check out that Mercedes!"

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

The Elephant in the Corner.

New Gods

"The glass is half full."

School of Voodoo Economics

'The trouble with trickle-down economics is, when it gets down to me, it keeps right on trickling.'

"Good morning, Mrs. Kiley."

Consumerism junkie.

An optimist, a pessimist & an optometrist.

Other Patron Saints of Christmas

Agnostics Society: Absolute worst place to ask for directions.

"Never mind."

Carotene: A carrot with raging hormones.

'Now, if we could only figure out how to get them to work in the womb, we could get the work done even cheaper.'

'If trickle down economics works, how come the bankers end up with the $700 billion?'

"For Gladys it's not the thought that counts, it's the size of the gift."

"To eventually be rich enough to throw away brand new stuff."

''Creationism'? †Those little twerps are always trying to shift the blame!'

"Why would your god (an incomprehensibly vast cosmic mind who created the entire universe from massive black holes to the tiniest of quantum particles) ever care about men having anal?"