Matchday Maniac Gifts

The Angry Footballer

'Oh come on, I'm sure she'll still be there after Match of the Day's finished...'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

Tennis ball girl.

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'

The Rugby Throw Up.

'The Cup Final's just starting-think I should wake him?'

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

'We're in a hurry.'

'He does what he wants - I blame that new manager, Mourinho!'

'The centre-forward wins a foul!'

Ref shows footballer green card.

"If the packers lose I'll eat my hat."

'Not watching this,are you luv?'

"Damn! Trust me to get a seat behind the umpire!"

A football fan chews a football as his team concedes.

GOOOOAAAAAL!

The new heated seats were proving to be just a little too hot for the fans!

"Why do footballers never shake a fist when they miss?"

'I know it's an early kick off but this is ridiculous!'

Footballer.

Woman with CS Gas while man watches football - "This is for if there's any crowd trouble."

A typical Newcastle fan.

"What sports fan are you?"

'There it goes, there it goes, there it goes...'

Football today

'Yes, he was there his afternoon - that's his balloon floating in the penalty area.'

'These oxygen tanks go with your tickets. Where you're sitting, you'll need them.'

Football Applause

Football prayers.

"My Man Utd top's still in the wash"

We interrupt this game because our sponsor has just filed for bankruptcy.

"We'll swop at half time."

Football fan's painted face turns completely red at the sight of a big breasted woman.