Matchday Die-hard Gifts

"What sports fan are you?"

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

The commentators want to run the officials...

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'

'I'm dreading the World Cup . . .'

'The Cup Final's just starting-think I should wake him?'

'He does what he wants - I blame that new manager, Mourinho!'

'Oh come on, I'm sure she'll still be there after Match of the Day's finished...'

'We're in a hurry.'

'If it's a game of two halves, how come you're on your third pint?'

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

'The centre-forward wins a foul!'

Ref shows footballer green card.

"If the packers lose I'll eat my hat."

'Let's buy the one that has the game on it.'

World Cup Football Enthusiasm!

'Structural strength test? Next door!'

Footballer.

'I know it's an early kick off but this is ridiculous!'

'I don't think you are going to see the end of this match with that 4-4-2 formation.'

"Why do footballers never shake a fist when they miss?"

"I promised I'd bring him - he could never afford to come when he was alive."

A typical Newcastle fan.

'Yes, he was there his afternoon - that's his balloon floating in the penalty area.'

'These oxygen tanks go with your tickets. Where you're sitting, you'll need them.'

Football today

Football Applause

'There it goes, there it goes, there it goes...'

"We'll swop at half time."

Football slave

"My Man Utd top's still in the wash"

Football