Matchday Fan Gifts

'The Cup Final's just starting-think I should wake him?'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

The commentators want to run the officials...

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

Soccer games took on a whole new meaning for the parents of Hillsdale Youth Soccer.

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

'He does what he wants - I blame that new manager, Mourinho!'

'If it's a game of two halves, how come you're on your third pint?'

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

'The centre-forward wins a foul!'

'We're in a hurry.'

'I'm dreading the World Cup . . .'

'Oh come on, I'm sure she'll still be there after Match of the Day's finished...'

"So, after five glorious weeks, football is coming home!"

Ref shows footballer green card.

"If the packers lose I'll eat my hat."

'Let's buy the one that has the game on it.'

'I wonder who they'll bring on as manager for the second half.'

Footballer.

'Structural strength test? Next door!'

"Buona Sera, Mrs. Johnson! You ordered two pizzas. That's £18!"

'I know it's an early kick off but this is ridiculous!'

'I don't think you are going to see the end of this match with that 4-4-2 formation.'

"Why do footballers never shake a fist when they miss?"

A typical Newcastle fan.

'These oxygen tanks go with your tickets. Where you're sitting, you'll need them.'

'Yes, he was there his afternoon - that's his balloon floating in the penalty area.'

Football today

Football Applause

"What sports fan are you?"

'Early evening kick-off for the Gunners, is it, Henderson?'

'Goodness me referee one really must question your visual acuity.'

Football players walk onto the pitch holding childrens' hands, who are holding rag dolls.