Match Day Slacker Gifts

"You are working, I trust!"

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

'At least I don't have his life.'

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

Soccer games took on a whole new meaning for the parents of Hillsdale Youth Soccer.

'But Mum, I've got a match after school...'

Football supporters.

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'

'If it's a game of two halves, how come you're on your third pint?'

"So, after five glorious weeks, football is coming home!"

'He does what he wants - I blame that new manager, Mourinho!'

'Oh come on, I'm sure she'll still be there after Match of the Day's finished...'

'We're in a hurry.'

'The centre-forward wins a foul!'

Ref shows footballer green card.

"If the packers lose I'll eat my hat."

'Not watching this,are you luv?'

'I wonder who they'll bring on as manager for the second half.'

Sundayafternoon Carpenters

Bowled out.

"Damn! Trust me to get a seat behind the umpire!"

"Why do footballers never shake a fist when they miss?"

'I don't think you are going to see the end of this match with that 4-4-2 formation.'

A football fan chews a football as his team concedes.

Footballer.

"Buona Sera, Mrs. Johnson! You ordered two pizzas. That's £18!"

A typical Newcastle fan.

"If God wanted me to go to church he wouldn't have put football on Sundays."

'Yes, he was there his afternoon - that's his balloon floating in the penalty area.'

Football Applause

'Don't mind her...I brought along my grief counsellor just in case.'

Football today

He had an accident at work-an idea struck him.

'Goodness me referee one really must question your visual acuity.'