Match Day Slacker Mugs

"You are working, I trust!"

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

'At least I don't have his life.'

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'

'But Mum, I've got a match after school...'

Football supporters.

'The centre-forward wins a foul!'

'We're in a hurry.'

'If it's a game of two halves, how come you're on your third pint?'

"So, after five glorious weeks, football is coming home!"

Ref shows footballer green card.

'Not watching this,are you luv?'

'I wonder who they'll bring on as manager for the second half.'

Sundayafternoon Carpenters

"Damn! Trust me to get a seat behind the umpire!"

Bowled out.

'I don't think you are going to see the end of this match with that 4-4-2 formation.'

A football fan chews a football as his team concedes.

Footballer.

"Why do footballers never shake a fist when they miss?"

"Buona Sera, Mrs. Johnson! You ordered two pizzas. That's £18!"

A typical Newcastle fan.

"If God wanted me to go to church he wouldn't have put football on Sundays."

'Yes, he was there his afternoon - that's his balloon floating in the penalty area.'

'These oxygen tanks go with your tickets. Where you're sitting, you'll need them.'

'Don't mind her...I brought along my grief counsellor just in case.'

Football today

Football Applause

He had an accident at work-an idea struck him.