Match Day Hero Pillows

GOOOOAAAAAL!

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

Beer Order

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

'John is watching the game under protest.'

Tennis ball girl.

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'

'But Mum, I've got a match after school...'

The Rugby Throw Up.

'If it's a game of two halves, how come you're on your third pint?'

'The centre-forward wins a foul!'

"So, after five glorious weeks, football is coming home!"

'The Cup Final's just starting-think I should wake him?'

'We're in a hurry.'

'I wonder who they'll bring on as manager for the second half.'

Bowled out.

'I don't think you are going to see the end of this match with that 4-4-2 formation.'

The new heated seats were proving to be just a little too hot for the fans!

"Buona Sera, Mrs. Johnson! You ordered two pizzas. That's £18!"

'I know it's an early kick off but this is ridiculous!'

"I promised I'd bring him - he could never afford to come when he was alive."

Footballer.

"Why do footballers never shake a fist when they miss?"

A typical Newcastle fan.

Football Applause

'These oxygen tanks go with your tickets. Where you're sitting, you'll need them.'

'Yes, he was there his afternoon - that's his balloon floating in the penalty area.'

Football players walk onto the pitch holding childrens' hands, who are holding rag dolls.