Master Retoucher Gifts

'31 years in graphic design eh, so I shouldn't be surprised you've retouched your photo on your CV.'

Gary turns 40.

Fish and color

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."

Curling your hair for no reason

"Anyway, we'd love to have You on board for the Creighton deal."

Okay, let's see...who's on tap to update our progress with that hostile takeover?

41 Rounds of Layoffs Survived

The merger hits a snag.

CIA - Incognito/Outcognito.

"...And please let the merger do through!"

"So your agent doesn't like your lawyer, and your PlR. people don't like your manager. They all like you."

'It's worse than outsourcing. Instead of hiring foreign labor, they got bought out by foreign management.'

"Gentleman, come in! Come in! Let me take your company."

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

'Consider this an unfriendly takeover, if you wish, but takeover it is!'

'Every time I want to buy a company, you tell me I own it already.'

Lester Hacks into an Abacus.

"Did you accidentally put the DVD of 'Taxi Driver' in her 'Wheels on the Bus' case?"

'It's not a stick-up, it's a merger offer.'

'This is where we merged our 'creative' and 'accounting' departments.'

Chinese business cuisine.

Door to business for corporate consolidation attorneys with many names on it.

Bench Press you!

'You're in great shape! You've got years of hostile take-overs ahead of you.'

"Leon rents out his time machine to people who have to go back and 'un-day' stuff that's now considered offensive."

Working at a hospital

'Since your people and my people got together, they've been avoiding us.'

Ancel P.Neilerug Before and After.