Retail Maestro Gifts

Brow-beaten wife takes delight in window shopping.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

Profit

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

'You know the economy's in trouble when the Forbes 400 list of wealthiest Americans only has 350 names on it.'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

'Lion Tamer experience hey? Well, I have a project currently needing your management skills...'

"I'm not happy about what the economists are predicting."

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

'I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

'Need I tell you the name of the game?'

'Now this is my kind of green!'

'Howard's doing things he's always wanted to with his redundancy money.'

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

U.S. Credit Rating

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

Wealth Juggler.

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

'If we're going to have a banking relationship, you'll have to trust me more than this.'

"Do you swear to calm the jittery financial markets, all the jittery financial markets and nothing but the jittery financial markets, so help you God?"

'Please remember, it's not a lie if it turns a profit.'

...I wonder who started the rumour of your resignation?