Master Of Unlocking T-Shirts

"We try to rehabilitate our inmates by giving them new skills. 763 here for instance is training to be a locksmith."

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"Isn't it great to get out of the kitchen and cook in the fresh air!"

"He's such a fussy eater."

A Tit for Tat.

Space shuttle helping to unlock the secrets of the universe.

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

'I made them during the blizzard in January. Whad'ya say we go liven up my sister's pool party?'

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

Pig and chicken asking for milk from cow, who replies: 'Sorry, I already gave at the office.'

Timmy Works with His Pet Cow

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

'He's out massaging,manipulating and monopolising.'

'Are you trying to tell me that neither of you get penalty rates for the 2 a.m feed?'

"Wait. Let it breathe."

'Watch this! Open up a straw by scrunching up its wrapper! Now put a drop of water on that wrinkly paper tube! Check it out! It wiggles and grows!'

Elwood 'I Can Fix This Myself' McGrunzen

Brain versus Religion.

Book and magician

'I play heavy metal.'

Servant talking to her old master about her new position

"Admit it ... you were hexting while driving again."

'Nothing to do? Why don't you read the refrigerator.'

'I love eating out.'

Farmer tacking up signs in Dairy barn.

'I'd like you to install a combination lock on our refrigerator door. . .'

"Of course, black magic is more expensive than white magic. Do you think that the pigments are free?"

Higher milk production

"Nothing in my hat. Nothing up my sleeve. And as of right now, ladies and gentlemen, nothing at all left in my goddamn portfolio."

'You're the finest escape artist we've ever had.'

Tarot Lying

"That's affirmative. It smells delicious. Over."

'I said a dozen eggs and one pint of milk.'

'Relax! I was just seeing if I could fit it all in if I wanted to.'